Donor Conception New York

Resources & Meetings - 2011 March through June

2011-02-24T10:03:00.003-05:00

Midtown-The NYC Gathering Womens Dinner-
Mondays, March 7, April 4, May 9, June 6, 6-8 pm,
saxel95@aol.com, 516-967-7430.
Check out MORE NEWS AND WORKSHOP INFO at http://donorgroupsnyc.blogspot.com/

Long Island Resolve Peer-Led Support Group-
Monthly Thursdays 7-9pm:March 10, April 14, May 19, June 16.
Saxel95@aol.com, 516-967-7430.

Montclair NJ, Judith Kottick,LCSW –Donor Parenting Support Group for Donor Judykottick@comcast.net Tuesdays @7pm,
Feb 1, Apr 5, Jun 7, Sept 13, Nov 8. First meeting free, $20 thereafter.
PLUS Workshop in Montclair, Saturday April 2, 2011, FLYER AVAILABLE UPON REQUEST TO JUDY or Sara Axel.

Support Group for Women Exploring Egg Donation-
Weds-NYC-Dr Anne Malave, PHd-
2nd and 4th Weds of the month,7-8:30 pm, afmalave@aol.com ,212-787-1304. Go to the RESOLVE website for more info on Anne's upcoming Educational Meetings on Long Island and NYC.

Third Party Parenting Network-
Upper West Side Tuesdays-Jan 11, Mar 8, Apr 12, May 10, Jun 7,
Support Group with Nancy Kaufman, LCSW, 212-772-1200 or thirdpartyparenting@yahoo.com. Cost $20 pp, $30 per family.

Plainview Long Island-Primary Infertility Group
with Janet Mueller, PsyD.,Tuesdays 7-8:30 in
$320 for 8 Sessions,Janetmu@earthlink.net.

Midtown-General Fertility and Family-building.
Free Drop-in Support-group with Carolyn Berger, LCSW,
1st & 3rd Thurs. each month, 6-7:3pm, cnberger@optonline.net 914-834-6396. NEW FERTILITY DISCUSSION SERIES the 1st Wednesday eve of every month, 6-7:15 pm at Batzofin Fertility Services. Contact Carolyn for registration and topics. All are FREE.

NJ Workshop re Discussing Donor Origins with Children

2009-02-17T00:33:00.003-05:00

Family Stories: How to talk to Children about Adoption and Donor Origins

Sponsored by the Infertility and Adoption Counseling Center

Date: Saturday March 28, 2009
Time: 9:00 a.m. to 3:00 p.m. Lunch will be served
Place: Robert Wood Johnson Center for Health & Wellness, 3100 Quakerbridge Road, Mercerville, NJ 08619 - LOCATED 10 minutes from Princeton and 5 minutes from the Hamilton Train Station

NOTE: The posting of this event as a blog post or as a calendared event does not indicate an endorsement of the event, its sponsors, or its content.

Link for the complete worksop agenda and registration page:

http://www.iaccenter.com/workshop_stories.asp

Per the webpage:

"This workshop is for parents, parents-to-be and professionals who would like to learn how to talk to children at the different ages and stages they go through in understanding adoption and donor origins. Three separate tracks will be offered: one covering adoption, another discussing donor origin issues and a third track for kids to touch on these issues as well. You can follow one track or mix and match. This program is approved by the National Association of Social Workers (provider #886509641) for 5 continuing education contact hours. Professionals working with these issues can get CEU credits for attendance.

This workshop program has been developed by Joni S. Mantell, LCSW Director of IAC Center, a psychotherapist specializing in adoption, and a recognized expert on integrating adoption and child developmental issues and Judith Kottick, LCSW, Director of Fertility Counseling and Consulting Services, a psychotherapist and recognized expert in the field of reproductive counseling with a particular emphasis on egg donation and gestational carrier arrangements. "

First Impressions

2009-02-09T23:44:00.011-05:00

My first impressions of both the Third Party Parenting Network (TPPN) and NYC Gatherings are definitely both positive impressions.

TPPN

I attended, individually sans spouse, the TPPN meeting last month in January at the home of Elizabeth Silk, one of the group's two moderators. The group was primarily composed of women who have either used donor egg or are considering using DE. There were a few donor sperm participants but we were in the minority. The featured speaker was a former New Yorker and mom to twin boys via DE who lives in Australia but who conceived her boys here in NYC during several months where she returned to NYC for that purpose. She spoke to us about the differences between donor conception practices here in the US versus that in Australia.

Overall the meeting was run much like many group sessions I have been part where the attendees introduce themselves around a circle indicating what brought them to the meeting. The questions & issues raised were generally brought up by the participants perhaps with a little clarification from either Elizabeth Silk or Nancy Kaufman and the answers being provided by other participants.

Hopefully I did not talk too much but I know it was important to me to bring up certain issues regarding the rights of the children we create via donor conception. Certainly of the issues discussed the issue of disclosure to the children was of importance to everyone that attended. In addition the issues age, selecting donors and DE programs were of importance to the group.

There was only man in attendance and he was there also regarding DE and was there for both his and his wife’s benefit. I give him a lot of credit for showing up by himself. My goal is to hopefully bring more men to the group and more participation by donor sperm families.

NYC Gatherings

This past Sunday we attended our first NYC Gathering meeting on the Upper West Side as organized by Sara Axel. We were not totally sure what to expect as I was told the meetings with kids are less structured and that is what we found. The kids were running around in the space provided and rather than all the parents participating in a large discussion circle the parents were basically engaged in several smaller discussions much like any large play date.

Again like the TPPN meeting the bulk of the attendees were donor egg and there were also two couples who were attending who did not have children who were looking to speak with other parents to educate themselves about the relevant issues.

This was my wife's first donor conception related meeting of any kind and other than having discussed the issues with friends or the few individuals / families we know personally I give her credit for being able to jump right in and be so involved in the varied discussions. Like many bio parents she wil be the first to admit she at times would like to simply move on from donor conception as she generally sees it as a non-issue (from her perspective) although she has heard me speak enough to understand this is hardly the case as the issue is about the kids and how they will later process their stories and our decisions.

Again like the TPPN, each of the individuals we met were very nice and all obviously struggled with infertility and found themselves at this juncture. As opposed to the individuals at the TPPN meeting where disclosure issues were clearly discussed the NYC Gathering meeting was more about the social connections between the families and the kids.

Redesigned Donor Conception New York Blog

2009-02-03T02:12:00.002-05:00

The purpose of this blog is changing so the blog design needed a new look which would enable it to highlight two of the local groups actively conducting meetings regarding donor conception.

Hopefully this will work to everyone's liking.

AFA Publishes Article re Donor Conception New York

2008-12-08T13:08:00.001-05:00

The American Fertility Association published an article I wrote regarding Donor Conception New York in their November 2008 eConnections on-line newsletter. They titled the article DI_Dad where I hoped it would be titled after Donor Conception New York. I can understand it as I wrote the top half of the piece about who I am, this blog, the DI Dads Yahoo Group and then how I came to the point of wanting to create the Donor Conception New York group.

Anyhow if you want to read the whole piece you can link to it above or HERE. I am hoping it will generate interest in the group. The Donor Conception New York related Yahoo group can be linked to within this sentence.

Welcome to Donor Conception New York

2008-11-13T12:39:00.002-05:00

Donor Conception New York is looking for members. It is looking for members that want to help create a new community here in the New York area where families can come together for support and for social gatherings.

The definition of community states that it is a group of people with a common background or shared interests. As a parent I am looking to meet other parents and donor conceived adults so that I can learn from others so that I can be a better parent to my own donor conceived children. As an advocate I constantly want to learn more and to be able to provide services to New York area families and donor conceived individuals.

If you are looking to simply join us simply as member of the community we hope to form or would like to be part of building that community please say hello. Please link through to the Yahoo group to formally join our new community.

Look for an article by me in a future issue of the American Fertility Association e-Connections newsletter about why I believe Donor Conception New York is worth trying to build. I have not submitted it yet but the AFA has indicated they are willing to help by publishing my appeal.

Blue Button Campaign to Attract NYC Area Donor Conceived / Families

2008-11-04T12:34:00.004-05:00

Yesterday I decided to start advertising on a few "parent" centered blogs and a few LGBT blogs / site to start getting the word out about building a donor conception community here in the NYC area. The above button is quite simple and hopefully it with a link to this blog site will start attracting interest in the idea of a new organization. I will also be starting a Facebook group as suggested to me by a member on this blog's companion Yahoo group.

What are your thoughts? Can you spread the word and post the blue button on your blog or site?

What is Donor Conception New York ?

2008-09-15T22:52:00.002-05:00

In my quest to find other donor conceived children and families here in the NYC area it was asked of me whether a gathering sponsored by Donor Conception New York would be open to donor conceived adults to which my response was of course that it would be.

While many of my posts have discussed finding families to develop a local network with the concept and focus being the future of my kids the truth is that without that network being comprised of kids and adults from every age (and their families) such a network would lose out on the experiences of its members.

In the short term Donor Conception New York (this blog and the yahoo group) are I hope vehicles to start and find new connections and work torwards a gathering or series of gatherings in late 2008 or most likely in 2009 in the NYC area. As to what the long term holds I cannot say as we first must see if the short term can be a reality.

The initial interest was encouraging but trying sustain that interest and find individuals is the greater trick. So if you are donor conceived or part of a donor conceived family here in the NYC area please say hello.

An Informal NYC Donor Conception Gathering

2008-09-11T16:06:00.001-05:00

Sometime in the next year I would very much like to pull together a NYC area gathering of any and all NYC based donor conceived families that are willing to meet. Anyone from around the country is welcome to come but I figured since I am NYC based to first start with local to semi local families.

Something very informal much like what Michele J. organized and pulled off in California this past June.
http://www.webspawner.com/users/donorsiblingsummer/index.HTML

If interested please send me an email privately or leave me a comment on my DI Dad blog with any suggestions. I had spoken about this idea a couple of years ago and I regret not pushing myself and it never came to be.

I have created a NEW Yahoo group where individuals interested in connecting with other NYC area families can converse and also planning can be begin for this event.

http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/DonorConception-NewYork/

Another Year Gone By.....Still Trying to Locate Other NYC Parents

2008-08-18T15:14:00.003-05:00

I posted another inquiry on the NY Metro Parents Discussion Board. Guessing the responses will be small if any as I never got any responses last year.

AFA Mtg for Donor Conception Parents

2007-11-28T23:36:00.000-05:00

AFA SPECIAL PARENTING SEMINAR

"The American Fertility Association invites you to a Special Parenting Seminar on Monday, December 10, 2007 from 7-9pm. Admission is free but space is very limited. You must register prior to the seminar date to attend.

For those considering using a egg/sperm donor it is a rare opportunity to meet other parents who are now parenting donor children.

For parents of egg/sperm donor children, it is a chance to exchange thoughts, ideas and learn helpful tools that may assist you with the unique, yet similar, challenges of raising children created through this family building option.

And finally, for those who wondered about “who are these donors”, it can be a great opportunity to hear how some donors view their roles in this amazing process.

For more information or to register please contact:
Patricia Mendell, LCSW, at (718) 230-9383
Location: 902 Broadway (between 20- 21 Street) 13th floor "

New York Metro Parent - Discussion Board

2007-01-20T00:36:00.000-05:00

Tonight I submitted a discussion board topic indicating I am looking for other NYC families who used donor conception to conceive their children. We'll see if anyone responds. The link is attached here.

Beginnings: Looking for Donor Conceived Children in NYC

2007-01-04T21:10:00.000-05:00

Tonight starts my quest to find other children of any age in NYC who were conceived via donor conception. As the blog title sub-paragraph states the purpose of this blog is to broadly bring families created via donor conception together so we can on line and off share our experiences while providing the children, young adults and adults a local NYC community that they can connect in person on a periodic basis.

I am not a therapist, sociologist, psychiatrist or have any background other than being a parent to two young children conceived via DI. I am not looking to replicate the work of Wendy and Ryan Kramer at the Donor Sibling Registry. If anything I am looking to build on the kind of in person human interaction exemplified by the Donor Conception Network in the UK on a smaller scale right here in New York City.

My personal purpose is to create a local network my kids can tap into to find others like them locally they can turn to and know the kid in the next seat has a story much their own and that they should always feel proud of who they are even if that means there are unresolved questions.